Shared Friendship: The Shared Reading Group at Calderstones that started 15 years ago

Members of one of The Reader’s first Shared Reading groups at Calderstones – originally set up by charity founder Jane Davis MBE 15 years ago – explain what an integral and important part of their lives it has become, as well as the deep friendships which have evolved.

When Tilly, the oldest member of one of The Reader’s longest running Shared Reading groups celebrated her 98th birthday, she was surprised with her favourite cake, cards, presents and ‘Happy Birthday’.

The ritual was repeated when Reader Leader and youngest group member Lily Kehoe recently celebrated her 23rd birthday.

Many of the original members have remained friends throughout the years and kept the group running during the pandemic – the group continued to meet when they could outdoors in the park.

Some of the group told us what Shared Reading means to them:

MARY

I lived in the US for 33 years and so when we moved back to the UK and Liverpool, I didn’t know anyone. From the very first session I was absolutely hooked. There was so much sharing and suddenly you were outside of your own experience. It was like having 16 new neighbours.

The Reader’s founder Jane Davis wanted to build a warm, connected and supportive community - and our group goes beyond that. We just enjoy being together. We have used the books as a jumping off point to share our experiences. It’s been a source of strength too, particularly through Covid.

We’re so lucky to have Lily - she brings so much energy and delights in the books we read. That is hugely important.

TILLY

I heard about it through a friend of mine. I decided I had to do something to get out of the house. When I came I immediately felt at home. Although half the time I do go to sleep!

It has given me so many new friends. Being the oldest I tend to be the one they ask about things.

ALISON

I’ve been a member since 2013. I used to work for the council but medically retired after being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I was getting used to having a disability, had lost all confidence and did not want to go out.

I felt I didn’t have anything to offer. A friend of mine said they were going to Shared Reading, so I went along too. When I first came to a group at the old Mansion House I felt dead uncomfortable. I do not read aloud, I like to listen, and I never used to stay for coffee afterwards.

But eventually I started talking to people and realised how interesting they were. They inspired me. They all had interesting lives. Gradually I became more outgoing.

Shared Reading has been a bit of a journey for me. I am back to the old me and feel much more confident.

ROSE

The friendships in this Shared Reading group are very strong – some of us meet up outside of Shared Reading. I’ve always been an avid reader. Reading for pleasure has always been one of my chief pleasures in life. I’ve also spent seven years in a primary school helping children with their reading.

With Shared Reading you can go into so much more depth. You take it at a slower pace, see things from other people’s perspectives, listen to their views and experiences.

LYNDA

Coming here has helped me to structure my week since retiring. I have something to look forward to.

I like the community aspect of Shared Reading. It’s great to be in a lovely environment with lovely people – they have a lot of insight. Poetry can touch you in a way other things can’t.

I’ve been coming for about 10 years now. I feel it gives you a love of words.

TRACY

I’ve a very large family and a lot of people to look after, including six children and six grandchildren. I’ve always just gone to a cafe for some stress release to read the papers and then gone back home. But then around 10 years ago I discovered Shared Reading.

What I love is the camaraderie – you get to know and care about each other.

Tilly is a very important part of the group, being 98 years old. We love Tilly. She is very gracious and grateful. It’s a pleasure to see her and be with her.

The Reader is an amazing thing - I also go to another heritage Shared Reading group on a Tuesday, my son, who has autism, goes to Jane’s gardening group and my youngest daughter got married here last year.

READER LEADER, LILY

I am truly honoured to run a Shared Reading group with these wonderful women once a week.

For 90 minutes every Wednesday - and often for an extended coffee break after - we are a group of women sat round a table with a book using the words as a jumping off point into our lives, our stories, our memories.

The nose piercing someone got years ago, the coat someone saved up all year to buy at university, the letters sent by penny post to siblings across the globe, playing the piano of a Sunday and singing with their family in the days when there was no other entertainment. The rich tapestry that has made them all who they are.

During my first Christmas with the group, one of the ladies said: ‘Thank you for giving us a home every Wednesday morning’. I had no idea what to say. To feel like you’re facilitating such important emotional reflections while doing just the same yourself is something indescribable, something good for the soul. My group are fierce, independent and inspirational and to be a Reader Leader and know them is a privilege. So, to my wonderful group, I say ‘No, thank you!’

Shared Reading groups are free, and for everyone. Each week we select stories and poems to read aloud together and everyone is welcome to share how the words make them feel, and their thoughts and memories. Find your nearest Shared Reading group here.